Wednesday, December 8, 2010

If It Walks Like a Duck and Talks Like a Duck…Then?

“Okay, now,” said Mitzi, “explain it to me again…how did you end up spending Thanksgiving on Wonderland Lane with the Whitneys and a bunch of androids?!!”

“I didn’t say they WERE androids, Mitzi, I just said that several of the women at Raven and Sky’s daughter, Charlotte’s, dinner party seemed to ACT like androids,” said DiDi, “…including Charlotte.

“Weird,” said Chris. “By the way, you haven’t touched your wine.”

“I’m driving, remember?”

“Yeah, right, but I’m walking, so…” said Cris

“And I’m DiDi’s designated passenger!” interrupted Mitzi.

“Here, Mitzi, you can have my glass” said DiDi, “and Chris, you take what’s left in the bottle…it looks like there’s at least another glass-full in there.”

“Thanks,” said Chris, “because I think I need some more alcohol to help me wrap my brain around what you just told us.”

“Did you get to touch any of them?” asked Mitzi. “What did they feel like? Were they cold…or 98.6 degrees like us?

“Look, you two, let me apologize for my choice of words sending your imaginations into a tailspin,” sighed Didi. “They weren’t robots! They just acted a little odd, that’s all.”

“Like, how?” asked Mitzi
Lela Ivey
“Well, for one thing, there were about half a dozen women who seemed to never stop smiling…and they were all so agreeable about everything.”

“Do you think there was something in the food?!” asked Mitzi

“Well, we all ate the same thing - which was delicious by the way; I don’t think I’ve ever had stuffing that was so moist and flav…”

“Enough about the food, already!” Mitzi squealed. “I want to hear more about the robots!”

“Mitzi, next time I’m drinking and YOU’RE driving,” DiDi retorted.

“Sounds like a plan,” said Chris, pouring the remainder of Mitzi’s wine into her own glass.

“You’re right,” sighed Mitzi. “As much as I love THE TASTE of a crisp Chardonnay with a great plate of creamy fettuccini, I forgot about the effect is sometimes has on me. Have I been too 'chatty'?"

“You’ve been just fine,” laughed DiDi. “But back to the story -- no, I don’t think the food was doctored up with anything…except maybe a little too much nutmeg in the eggnog.”

“So, what do you think it was?” asked Chris.

As if on cue DiDi’s cell phone suddenly began to vibrate on the table.

“Hmmm…I don’t recognize this number,” said DiDi.

“It might be the mechanic,” said Mitzi. “I forgot my phone, so I gave him your number to call me about what needed to be done on the car and when it would be ready.”

“Oh, okay,” said DiDi picking up the phone to answer it. “But you’re in no condition to get behind the wheel of a car, today. So if Cliff can’t drop you off tomorrow, I’ll come by and pick you up and take you there.

“Thanks, DiDi, you‘re a real pal.”

“And you’re smashed…Hello?”

“Hi, DiDi, I got your number from Charlotte. Please don’t hang up…this is Alicia Van Dine.”

Freeze frame: On DiDi’s shocked face as her cell phone slips out of her hand into the remains of her tiramisu.

Click here for an update on Mitzi Martin’s alter ego, actress Lela Ivey.


Mariann Aalda played DiDi Bannister-Stoner on Edge of Night from 1981 to its final episode on December 28, 1984. She also played Grace Battles on Guiding Light and Lena Hart on Sunset Beach on daytime and starred in the primetime series The Royal Family and First & 10 and recurred or guest-starred on such shows as Designing Women, Grace Under Fire and The Parkers, among others. With a penchant for comedy, she's also done stand-up in clubs across the country and is the co-creator of M.O.I.S.T.! -- the "sex-istential" comedy-with-music celebrating the seasoned woman -- which she co-wrote/produced/performs with Iona Morris (ex-Fiona Griffin, As The World Turns).


  1. Speaking of Alicia Van Dine, what the heck is Chris Weatherhead up to these days? Another fun installment!

  2. The good thing about being two weeks behind is that I had no weekly cliffhanger to wait on. Tardiness does have its benefits!:)

  3. The daytime soap opera The Edge of Night was originally meant to be a daytime version of Perry Mason, until Gardner had a falling-out with CBS network officials. He was later mollified enough to allow production of the most famous incarnation of the character.